This is why we still need feminism
A rambling rant triggered by contrasts in culture
There are two different Tanzanian marriage certificates, one for the male and one for the female.
The female marriage certificate has nothing notable. The male one, a section with three options to tick: Are you…
a) monogamous;
b) polygamous; or
c) potentially polygamous?
Polygamy in itself doesn’t bother me. I have witnessed functioning polygamous families here. The thing that bothers me, is that it is the man’s choice. He doesn’t even have to decide right away.
Girls’ education in Tanzania is still not good enough and the attitude that young men have towards women here is not good enough.
Back home, unconscious bias meant a fellow engineer hesitating before shaking my hand in a design meeting. It was a male apologising specifically to me for swearing when I’m the only female in the room, as if my fragile feminine ears would have otherwise shattered. It was a waiter directing questions to the man I was with instead of me. It was not feeling comfortable walking at night alone.
In fact, it is not that different here.
I can’t walk alone here, where a male can. If there is a man around and 6 other women, questions will be directed at the man. It is cat calling, unsolicited touching at a club, the incredulous and OFFENDED look when I explain that I’m just here to dance with my friends and not you.
Maybe, all over the world, we just aren’t good enough yet.
The difference, I think, is in Australia (and maybe the rest of the developed world), we are loud about it. We have social media movements, we have a structured and accessible judicial system, we have people that believe us and CARE (or do we?).
This is why, in my opinion, feminism still needs to be extreme.
Even in a country where free speech is valued, where women can be — with varying degrees of discomfort— anything they want to be, where women are educated, there is still toxic masculinity. There are still men that think they have the RIGHT to a woman. That a female is property and we are objects to be used but not heard.
How then, can we expect to move forward when the media still lauds a man for his movies, music, acting, even after he has been charged with a crime against a woman (Read: Weinstein, Chris Brown, Bill Cosby).
When the president of the “free world” (insert eye-roll here) has been recorded as saying he has “grabbed a woman by the pussy”, and was still elected, how can we expect to move forward as humans without drastic change.
Here, casual sexual harassment isn’t even notable. People grab you, people touch you, people cat call you. As a group of girls, we complain to each other about men’s behaviour here, but we never complain to authorities and rarely, the men/perpetrators themselves.
This is why we need feminism. Here, in some circles it is not yet normal for a woman to call out a man, it is not yet normal for the female voice to be heard. There are strong women here, who’s voices are articulate, strong and loud. But they are speaking for so many and a lot of what they say is still falling on deaf ears. They need support, they need amplification, they need people to listen.
This is why we need feminism. For the women who are getting paid 15% less, for the women that want to dance without being groped. But also, for the girls who can’t get an education because they have been raped and it is illegal to go to school if you are or have ever been pregnant.
For those that say we don’t need feminism anymore, that the glass ceiling doesn’t exist. In your bubble, yes, I hope so. But we are not done yet. Half of the world is female and so many of them still need voices.
All over the world, girls are still shamed for having their periods. Women are still less educated than men globally. Girls are still more likely to be victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault.
This is why we need feminism.
So when someone throws a gender stereotype at me, I call it out. How can we speak out about the big things, if we can’t be bothered calling out the little things. How can we be champions for girls globally, if we can’t even listen to our sisters, girlfriends, daughters, FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS, in Australia?
How can one address institutionalised sexism in Tanzania, without addressing unconscious sexism in Australia? We need to be loud about both. We need to be champions, advocates, voices for all women. Those we can hear and see, and more importantly, those we cannot.
/end rant.
Side note:
There are so many wonderful Tanzanian led NGOs doing great things here in Arusha. If you’re interested in supporting NGOs internationally, please make sure you do your own research. Find an NGO that is proving impact in an area you care about while reducing their environmental footprint, in an economically sustainable way.
Here are some women’s specific NGOs I have had the pleasure of meeting in my time here:
- HEALTH | www.femmeinternational.org
- JUSTICE | www.inherityourrights.org
- EDUCATION | www.girlsfoundationoftanzania.org
